30th July 2014  Subscribe in a reader

The transactional trap

Hey guys,

I am, at heart, a free market guy. If there’s a market for something that’s not socially destructive, with a buyer and a seller, I’m for it with minimal regulatory interference.

Of course, “socially destructive” means one thing to one person, and quite another to another, and that’s where controversy starts.

And while I’m not going to get into that controversy in this venue, I do want to give you a bit of advice about dealing with women on a “transactional basis.”

What do I mean by “transactional?” Simply this: you are trading money for affection (that can be anything from an erotic chat line to a full on prostitute with everything in between) and when the money ends, so does the affection.

Many guys fall into this trap, paying for strippers, hookers, and escorts, turning their relationships with these women into nothing but transactions.

Here’s the issue with that: it starts changing the way you think about women, view women, and connect with women. Men who deal with women on a transactional basis soon find they’ve lost their skill to create attraction.

The truth is this: give women what they want, and they’ll give you what you want, earnestly, honestly, and straight from the heart. What women want is a man who makes them feel chemistry, and when you reduce male-female interactions to a transactional basis, you completely short cut the chemistry.

Lookit, there’s nothing wrong with going to a “gentleman’s club” on the rare occasion (I choose not to frequent them, finding the whole exercise of paying to be teased a complete waste of time and money). That’s not going to turn you into a strip club junkie.

But the more you do things with women on a purely transactional basis, the closer you become to losing the ability and skill to attract them and connect with them.

I’ve known several man who blew tens of thousands of dollars a year on strip clubs and hookers, and none of them could hold a conversation with a real woman. They were “dead,” completely unable to connect.

So, my advice to you is this: avoid things of a purely transactional, money-for-affection, nature with women. Instead, focus on mastering the skill of attraction, and you will experience far more than the richest man in the world without these skills ever will.

On with the fun….

-John Alanis
“The King of Let ‘em Come to You”

Copyright, Art Of Steel, Inc. MMXII

 
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