20th April 2018  Subscribe in a reader

Fantasies of the sexes

Hey guys,

It is amusing to me how far a certain subset of each sex delves into fantasy land. Witness, for example, a female fantasy I see quite a lot, especially if you peruse any dating site:

“Overweight, 37 year old recently divorced woman with three kids wants to meet tall, handsome, financially successful, one woman man, friends first. No games.”

Damn, I guess if you’re going to dream, dream big, huh? And how many of you fellas on that list would be interested in that woman?

Not a one, I would imagine. And why would you? If you’ve paid close attention to what I teach, you can choose the women you really want, and I’m only 100% sure that would fit none of your descriptions of your ideal.

But men have a fantasy too, and it goes something like this: “Sweet, kind, sensitive nice guy wants to meet a woman who will love me for who I am, think about me and only me, and who will always be a good girl who adores me.”

Fat damn chance, huh? Notice I didn’t necessarily say, “hot, sexy woman, or bad girl, or anything like that.” If you’re an attractive man, meeting a hot, fun, sexy, wickedly smart bad girl who can play the good girl to male buffoons in public ain’t a fantasy—it’s a choice.

It is instructive to read both the male and female fantasies back to back. What you have to understand is, the reaction the female fantasy produces in you is the same reaction the male fantasy produces in women.

Now, to be clear, not all women have the above fantasy, just a subset. There are many women who live, breath, and eat in the real world, having gotten over fantasies a long time ago, and those are the women you want to meet.

BUT, you have to understand many of these women have met a lot of “nice guys” who have the above fantasy, and have no time for them. You cannot in any way, shape or form appear as one of them, or you will have no happy ending with her (to misuse a phrase).

Attraction takes place in the real world, and you have to embrace it instead of fight it. Most men live in fantasy land, and die there in the end. But if you live in the real world you can, actually, get what you want with women…and they can get what they really want from, just not in the way the story is usually told.

On with the fun….

-John Alanis
“The King of Let ‘em Come to You”

Copyright, Art Of Steel, Inc. MMXII

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