22nd June 2018  Subscribe in a reader

Of big fish and small ponds

Hey guys,

I have a friend who’s pretty good with women of a certain genre. He targets women in their late 30’s to early 40’s, recently divorced, who hang out in suburban bars.

The men who inhabit those bars are usually married, recently divorced, and out of shape. They try to meet women by impressing them with cars, money, houses, etc., the same rap that all these women have already heard.

My friend is in good shape, a decent dresser, and moderately skilled at attraction. But he is the King of that bar because he has little true male competition, the women are going there to meet men, and they are all a little desperate.

He is the classic big fish in a small pond, and currently happy. By one measure, he is successful, and honestly, there’s nothing wrong with how he operates.

However, if you were to put him in a big pond, with big fish, and very high quality women, he would do poorly. His current skill set won’t allow him to succeed.

So, there are two options here, and neither is really right or wrong. He can stay as a big fish in his small pond, succeeding with a certain class of women.

Or, he can go to work on his skill set, get out of his small pond, and get his ass kicked in a big pond for awhile. The key here is, for awhile. Because while he is getting his ass kicked, he is also learning and growing. He is growing from a small fish in a big pond to a big fish in a big pond.

And when he finishes growing, he will be in the big leagues. He will have a superior skill set to almost any other man he goes up against, and he will have his choice of the highest quality women, whether for fun and adventure or something more serious.

So, the question he has to ask himself is, is he willing to pay the price, willing to trade a level of success for temporary failure to ascend to a higher level of success?

Neither decision is the wrong one. In fact, I think it’d probably be better for him to stay where he is, because while he will work, he’s not the hardest worker on the planet.
But if I were in his shoes, I’d make a different decision. The rare rewards in life come from going through the mind numbing failure of learning to be a big fish in a big pond, and to me the rewards are worth the price.

The question is, are they to you? Only you can answer that…but the biggest fish are always the most admired and sought after.

On with the fun….

-John Alanis
“The King of Let ‘em Come to You”

Copyright, Art Of Steel, Inc. MMXII

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