22nd June 2018  Subscribe in a reader

The knowing gap

Hey guys,

Ever seen a woman you thought was so stunning you were tongue tied around her? Most men have, and it seems the unknown can ties your brain in knots.

But, consider this: ever had a female friend you’ve known for a long time (maybe even she was a lover or a date) who’s hot but you pay it little mind because you “know her?”

When you’ve known a woman for a long time, and are familiar with her, you have none of the nervousness, trepidation or jitters that can come with talking to a woman you’ve never met.

Think about the irony of it. Meet up for a drink with stunning woman for the first time, and you could all kinds of emotions running through your head. Meet up for a drink with a stunning woman you’ve known forever, and you pay it no mind.

The irony is, in both cases you’re having drinks with a stunning woman, but your emotional state is quite different. Why? Because one you know and the other you don’t- and that makes all the difference.

So, that brings up the question: how do you bridge the “knowing gap” with a women you’ve just met as quickly as possible, so you can get to the point where you’re completely comfortable with her?

This is not a question I can answer completely in one episode (for you doer’s club members, this will be the topic in this month’s newsletter), but I can begin to answer it.

One important element is repetition, i.e. how often you communicate with her, and to what level. While you don’t want to appear like a stalker, or fall into the friends category, you want to communicate with her often enough so that you begin to feel “known.”

Not only that, you want to communicate with her on a variety of different topics, the more the better. The more she feels she “knows you,” the more open and comfortable she will become.

Tell her stories about your past, then let her reciprocate and tell her stories about hers. You know you are on the right track when she says things like, “Don’t tell anyone” or “I’ve never told anyone this before…”

Then she feels like she knows you, like she’s becoming comfortable…and that is the basis of long term attraction. This is not an easy question to answer, but an important one to think about.

On with the fun….

-John Alanis
“The King of Let ‘em Come to You”

Copyright, Art Of Steel, Inc. MMXII

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